This parody of Mortals by Warriyo (original with Laura Brehm) envisages as its scene the completion of Frodo’s quest at the very end of Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings: The Ring has just been destroyed in the fires of Orodruin and Mount Doom is erupting in a orgy of self-destruction while Frodo and Sam lie collapsed with exhaustion upon a lower slope, helpless, as their world ends.
Recording
The song structure is very simple – a single verse structure in the middle of an otherwise instrumental composition. The beautiful, haunting tune inspires lyrics of a reflective, even speculative nature.
Lyrics
Falling Doom
V1:
All Mount Doom is quaking
It’s the end of Mordor.
Hope is now awaking
For The Ring is destroyed. Sauron cannot
Stop disaster taking
Overthrowing Mordor.
Destiny is shaking
All our future lives. What next will be?
In this parody re-recording of Hall of Fame by The Script, this song summarises and reviews some of the broader themes embedded in the overall narrative of The Lord of the Rings:
Can wrong be successfully countered by doing right?
If I die, will I be remembered? Will it even matter?
If Middle Earth is not a paradise – rather a spoilt Eden – can I sail west to find paradise there?
What is a true champion simply being famous? Or something more?
Song-recording
Hall of Fame is an easy-listening song with a catchy tune: it has a straight-forward structure (verse, chorus, bridge) with the final repeat of the first verse sung as a counter-point to the melody used in the bridge. This final verse-one repeat is musically interesting: and therefore I retained it in the parody.
Lyrics
Halls of Fame
V1:
You could be a hero.
You could a lord.
You could kill the dragon
Sleeping on its hoard.
You could be a warrior
Or one of the wise
Walking Middle Earth
And gathering allies.
Fighting for the truth and
Revealing the light
Casting out the darkness
Counter wrong with Right.
If you take this journey
It could mean your death.
But you may continue on in memory…
Chorus:
…Standing in the Halls of Fame
And the world will never be the same
Though you gotta walk through the flame
Life and Death is the greatest game
But will you ever stand in the Halls of Fame?
V2:
Go and fight your battles
Go and do it well
Go and walk the flames
Out through the deepest hell.
Don’t give up despairing.
Don’t complain: why me?
Earth is not the paradise
That you wanna see.
Maybe you’ll survive if
You will do your best.
You can join the convoys
Sailing for the West.
But still you will live on
Even if you die.
Comes a day when every person is…
Ch:
Br:
Be a champion. Will you
Be a champion? Can you
Be a champion? To
Be a champion…
V3:
Be adventurers, be truth-seekers.
Be companions, be believers.
Be heroes, be wound-healers,
Be warriors, be quest-seekers.
Be adventurers, be truth-seekers.
Be companions, be believers.
In this parody re-recording of Carnival of Rust by Poets of the Fall, Fingolfin recounts his leading of the Noldor across the dreaded Helcaraxë after their betrayal by Fëanor at the kin-slaying at Aqualondë.
Fingolfin succeeds to the High-Kingship of the Noldor after the death of Fëanor. World-weary – more sad but more wise – Fingolfin reflects upon the disastrous events that propelled the Noldor to take arms against Morgorth. At the end of the song Fingolfin gazes into the times to come to predict how the Doom of Mandos will affect future generations.
Song-recording
Carnival of Rust is a beautiful song: with a haunting melody that invites calm self-reflection on serious themes. The solo tenor carries the melody accompanied by classical guitar: full band backing is held back for the chorus and outro.
Lyrics
March of the Noldor
V1: (Fingolfin, Fëanor’s half-brother)
To Middle Earth we came
All the Noldor
Who survived the trek of ice from Valinor.
The one most to blame
Cursed fiery spirit
My half-brother, the high princeling Fëanor.
From Aqualondë, through Helcaraxë, we
Trekked our trail of misery.
My people froze, died; as onward we hied. See
All he did to us – and me.
Chorus:
So what did we gain?
Our exile from Elvenhome.
On Middle Earth to live and die with pain.
Before Angband
I beside my Noldor stand
Yet the Silmarils we can’t by force regain.
V2:
Fëanor is dead.
By the hand of balrogs
He was slain and died near Ethel Sirion.
I rule in his stead.
Now as the high-king of the Noldor
And our fight continues on.
We keep watch, survey, and wait for the day, when
Will advance the enemy.
The foe is too strong. We pay for our wrong. We –
And our sons through history.
Ch x2
Outro:
We can’t walk away. For we chose this way.
Ooh – though our world is burning.
We can’t run away. Here the Noldor stay.
Ooh – through the ages turning.
We can’t get away. For our sins we pay.
Ooh – but our hearts keep yearning –
We might get away. To return some day.
Ooh – is there no returning?
We can’t walk away. For we chose this way.
Ooh – though our world is burning.
We can’t run away. Here the Noldor stay.
Ooh – through the ages turning.
In this parody recording of Sweet Dreams by the Eurythmics, Gollum gives us his perspective on ‘his precious’: what he thinks about all the various parties – from Sauron to Gandalf – aiming to get their hands his One Ring.
Gollum – predictably enough – mistrusts equally everyone he ever comes into contact with: elves, orcs, Shelob, Sauron, Gandalf, and Strider. But he reserves his particular venom for the Hobbit ring-bearers Frodo and Sam: promising to “get them back” before the end.
Song-recording
The karaoke remix used as the backing-music sound-track is of considerably better quality than the original song. The composers took the opportunity at the same time to rearrange the song: giving this version four full verses and two bridge sections.
I note here that I never liked the bridge of the original Sweet Dreams: so they have been replaced with instrumentals in this parody.
Lyrics
Gollum’s Precious
V1: (Gollum)
Sweet dreams my precious brings.
The most powerful – it’s the lord of rings.
I travel the world when it was stole from me.
Everybody is looking for my ring.
Sauron he wants to use you.
My precious wants to be used by you.
Shelob wants to abuse you.
Give me my ring – I’ll do what I choose.
Oooh.
V2:
Sweet dreams my precious brings.
It whispers in my mind as it calls and sings.
I travel the world when it was stole from me.
Everybody is looking for my ring!
Gandalf thinks he can use you.
But my ring won’t be used by you!
The elves they want to abuse you!
Yet with my ring – I’ll be what I choose!
V3:
Sweet dreams and pleasant things
My precious will give and what power it brings!
I travel the world – now I think I have found it!
Nasty hobbits carrying my ring!
Careful – the wizard will know you!
I’ll have to get my ring away from you!
They all think they can lose you.
We will see if I my ring will lose!
V4:
Sweet dreams and better things
I’ll follow their path through the tomb of kings.
The shadows I’ll keep through the caves of Moria
They’ll never lose me – lest they can grow wings!
Just the hobbits are left you.
They are alone – and they are but two.
Sam Gamgee – does accuse you.
I’ll get my ring – and its power use!
In this parody rewrite of Legends Never Die by Against the Current I chose to recount the deeds of notable balrog-slayers: Echthelion, Glorfindel, and of course, Gandalf.
Legends Never Die is a superlative choice for such a subject: the original lyrics being directly aimed at characters “pursuing greatness” (‘League of Legends’ style) which dovetails nicely with some of the themes encountered in The Lord of the Rings and the Silmarillion: in this case, one-on-one duels that impact the entire course of history in Middle Earth.
Song-recording
In this parody I left the original vocals of the chorus untouched: electing only to replace the lower-register “verse” sequences with Tolkien-themed lyrics. The result is, in effect, a kind of duet with Chrissy Costanza: with all due apologies to Against the Current.
The original song makes no musical distinction between the tune used in the “verses” and the “chorus”: the singer just sings up the octave in the chorus sections. The verses are easily within the tenor range – which is preserved is the parody: Constanza is left to carry the chorus as lead-soprano.
Lyrics
Balrog-Slayers
V1:
Legends never die. Just as Echthelion
Took down Gothmog the lord of balrogs.
Legends never die. Just as Glorfindel
Dueled to death the balrog in the mountains.
They sacrificed their lives.
Br:
For they took up their arms, regardless of odds, when the fighting’s near.
They could do nought else, but would lay down their lives, bought their victory dear.
So take good heart because
Ch: (female lead sing)
Legends never die when the world is calling you
Can you hear them screaming out your name?
Legends never die, they become a part of you
Every time you bleed for reaching greatness
Legends never die
V2 (-):
When Mithrandir wandered the mines of Moria
He lost his life on the bridge of Khazâd-dûm
Br:
He laid down his life, cast the balrog down, fell into the deep.
He fell out of time, he fell out of mind, into timeless sleep.
That’s what wizards do.
Ch: (female lead sing)
Br2: (female lead sing)
Ch: (female lead sing)
