Dear Sig

A letter from some bothersome and outlandish Hobbits:

Dear Sig,

Where do spiders keep their six purses?

Sincerely,

Lilikate and Lizzy

That is a fine question! While I have no hard proof, it is my belief that the Moors Spiders who happen to have six bags of loot, are closely related to the Olios giganteus, otherwise known as the Giant Crab Spider. We also know that the Giant Crab Spider’s cousin, Macropus giganteus  has a pouch on it’s belly which allows it to carry things. A few tankards of mead and horrible deductive reasoning leads me to concluding that Moors Spiders very well may have a pouch on their bellies, where they can store their bags and other trinkets, odds and ends, stylish hats, hobbit legs, various copies of Charlotte’s Web, warg treats, breath mints and pocket watches.

 

A note from Petunia Cotton:

Dear Sig,

It seems to me that as of late I am finding more and more coin during my adventures (shocking, I know.)
But there is very little for me to spend it on. Apart from spoiling myself on the occasional honey cake or new dress from the market, my coin purse is getting heavier and heavier and I don’t know what to do with it? I don’t trust that so-called “vault keeper” in Michel Delving – he has shifty eyes.

What should I do?

— Petunia

I have just the thing for you, my sweet hobbitlass! Every Tuesday right at sunset I will be taking tips in exchange for my performance of /jig on various tables and the bar top at the Bird and Baby Inn. What better way to spend your money than on ale and merriment!?

 

Some hasty chicken-scratch on a piece of bark, shoved into my hand by a crazed looking but finely dressed elf lady:

I’ve run out of wine. Have you seen any more?

Sincerally
Sinserely
Sinserily
Sin
Regards,
Elrohorielarwenecthelionarurielwe of Lorien:

Go home Galadriel, you’re drunk.

 

“Dear Sig” will be a new ongoing “advice column” series where I will answer questions and offer advice for any issues that may be troubling you in middle earth!
Tweet your questions to @SigsBeard or email them to Sig@WARSTEEDS.COM.