LOTRO Players News Episode 100: The Great Big One

This week is our 100th episode and we have a lot of familiar voices back on to celebrate!

Episodes 1-99 podcast highlights video here.

Episodes 1-99 blooper highlights video here.

Episodes 1-99 sped up blooper highlights video here.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (159.7MB)

Game News

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LOTRO Players News

5000 Turbine Point Code Giveaway

Poll: What Part of the Producer’s Letter Are You Most Excited About?

LOTRO Academy: 107 – Talkin’ ‘Bout LOTRO

LOTRO Video Highlights: Morning Never Came

Spring Festival 2015 Improvements

The Ultimate Lilikate’s Creature!

Deeper Underground

The Family Line Part 46 – A Friend in Bree

Brax’s pick of the week: LOTRO Players

New Player Question

What’s up with the obsession with steeds? Is there any real difference between the regular steeds other than appearance?

Favorite Moments

Andang

• Walmart Origin Story
• Ethel and Ross Origin Story
• DJ’s Game
• Skirmish Tortillas Origin Story
  • Pineleaf as Lilirose
  • Ethelros changing between Myst and himself
• Breaking Pineleaf
  • Sauron blowing up the moon
  • Most broken Pineleaf has ever been

 

Lilikate

• People laughing till they pass out!
• Lizzy – being Lizzy.
• Pineleaf calling the countdown.

 

Braxwolf

• Extralife marathon
• LOTRO Players RPG
• Snack foods conversation with Ethelros & Lilikate
• Chat room rage-quit
• (personal) Being able to highlight different community blog posts & creativity
• (personal) Friends I’ve made on the show and in the community
• (personal) The opportunity to interact with so many cool guests/community members
• (personal) Being there from the beginning, seeing all the “firsts” and watching the site & show grow into what it is today

 

Drac

• Ethelros and the boat of peas
• LOTRO Players RPG
• Ork On Fork
• All of the Red Horse Jokes (that still haunt me, even in other games)
• All the amazing people I have meet and friends I’ve made

 

Karvett

• Being an “extra” in Lotro Players Adventures.
• Cutting up with Arathaert and Andang on the show and breaking Pineleaf.

 

Cithryth

• pre/after show shenanigans/bloopers
• Adventures
• Weathertop coverage

 

Teriadwyn

• The Balrog song.

 

Donations

We currently have 11 supporters on Patreon. If you would like to join this illustrious fellowship of players and help support LOTRO Players, simply go to the donation page where you can support The Players Alliance on Patreon.  There you will find rewards including a mention on the podcast of your choice, or even guest for an episode on LOTRO Players News.

Feedback

Reviews

This week we did not receive any reviews on iTunes.

Emails

Jenny writes:

“Hello LotRO Players News! I decided to bite the bullet and do something scary and send in a sound file for your 100th Episode.

A couple of things: this is quite long, so if you want to cut it (if you can, I have no idea about editing sound files), that is cool. Also, that little cough I do after I talk about Seaspray is not related to what I just said about Seaspray and the Hill :p It sounds like I’m being sarcastic but I am *not* 😀 It was super fun.

Anyway, thanks for continuing to provide such a fantastic site and community for us! <3 I’ve been playing LotRO for 2 1/2 years and discovered your site just about a year ago (I think) so a significant proportion of my whole game experience has somehow involved your site and shows, and you’ve been pretty integral to my enjoyment and understanding of the game. So, one more huge ‘thank you’ from me and I can’t wait to see what you’ve got coming up next 🙂

Jenny/Arae”

Barnabras writes:

“Hopefully this won’t make you cringe

Barnabras”

Braag writes:

“Hope this is taken in the right spirit!  Anyone who finds it amusing may be interested in my April Fool’s episode from this year “Douse the Beacons”.

Cheers,

Braag of Vilya”

Andang wrote an origin story:

“First of all, thanks Teriadwyn, Branabras and Cithryth for helping writing the ending.

One day, deep in a local cloning factory, a young male vampire named Draculetta worked on the Felicia Day cloning line.  His job was to inspect the clones to make sure they lined up with pictures he took of Felicia outside the factory.  Over time a strange thing began to happen to the clones.  They began to have a general con of falling down all the time.  To keep them from being hurt, Drac had to catch the clones before they fell.  After this happened 10 times Drac was going to report the general con but he enjoyed the clones falling into his arms too much so he didn’t report it.  The next two times though Drac didn’t catch them in time and so he knew he would have to report it before it became a bigger issue.  Drac told the whole GenCon story to his supervisors, Cithryth and Ethelros who only rolled their eyes and sighed at him.  Drac continued to remind his supervisors of the Felecia problem each week but they only rolled their eyes and sighed more and more.

Meanwhile, in another part of the factory, Ethelros began to work on a shirtless warden clone he would name after his boss, Pineleaf.  Ethelros thought this idea was hilarious and he couldn’t talk for days do to all the laughing.  He laughed so much that his jaw started to hurt.  To avoid being a mute for the rest of his life, Ethelros immediately stopped laughing and got to work.  Since Ethelros loved dolphins so much, he included a complementary dolphin with each Pineleaf clone order, even though it had no porpoise.

Quickly after the Pineleaf clone went on sale, it became clear that the Pineleaf clone was in direct competition with the Felicia Day clone market.  While analysts to this day still don’t understand this market overlap, it became clear that a spicy battle was about to unfold.  Draculetta instantly became interested in following the sales figures to know if his clone was winning.  The sales reports were neck and neck so Drac began to run sales projections through a random number generator.  The sales outlook from the RNG was so bad that he set the RNG on fire and began to look for another job.

Drac decided to ask his Australian friend, whose name remains a Mysteri, for help and she said she needed a security guard for a walk she had planned.  Drac agreed to the job and so he protected his friend as they walked to the local docks.    When they arrived at the docks, the Australian friend began to tear though crates, trying to find a shipment of coffee.

While they were frantically searching for the coffee, the Australian began to tell Drac about the cool job she had at LOTRO Players.  Drac wasn’t sure about the job but the mysterious Australian knew how badly Drac needed it and so she dragged Drac along for several miles to LOTRO Players Headquarters.   Drac was shocked when he got there to see pictures of Pineleaf and Ethelros on the employee picture wall.  Ethelros had already won the award for ‘most monotone’ and Pineleaf had won ‘best laugh’.  Drac quickly looked at his pocket calendar and realized that he had been on that walk for over a month with the Australian.  Stressed about the lost time, Drac began to count the images on the wall to relax.  1, 2, 3…  Before he could get to four he was cut off by Pineleaf, who had been sitting at the secretary desk the whole time.

Pineleaf said, “No Drac, you are supposed to count down, and your numbers are all wrong, it is 5 minutes until the show starts, not 1, 2 or 3.”

Drac was not sure about the show but the Australian dragged him into the recording room and with a detestable face, told him to sit in a coffin chair that was in the corner.  Drac found the chair to be surprisingly Draculettic in nature and gave it his stamp of approval.

Drac found out there were a few other people on the show.  A twinkieless Italian pizza pie maker named Lilikate, a table mover named Braxwolf, and a person called Andang who had a creepy background.  When Drac started to listen to the conversation he found out that Brax needed to move a solid Braxwood table.  Drac knew how heavy Braxwood could be so he offered his pickup truck but Braxolf didn’t respond and even missed the next show.   Latter Drac found out Braxwolf was highly offended by Drac asking since Braxwolf had a whole fleet of his own pickup trucks specially designed to carry tables.

After about 33 weeks of podcasting, Drac remembered his former eye-rolling supervisor, Cithryth.  Drac invited her on the show and she quickly agreed.  It turns out Cithryth had wanted to get out of her job for some time after an industrial drum of steel blue dye accidently made its way out of her hands and into the Felicia Day skin pigmentation tank.  She had only agreed to be on the show due to guilt of ruining Drac’s clones.

After another 33 weeks, a talkative trailer owner wanted to be on the show.  Somehow she had found out about Cithryth’s secret and threatened to talk unless Cithryth moved on to another show.  Cithryth quickly agreed and talked Ethelros and Drac into leaving the show as well.  They went off to do a spinoff show about Necromancers and PvP.

The talkative trailer owner felt bad about causing three hosts to leave and so she did the only thing she could think of, go to therapy.  She tried several therapists but they all eventually turned her away since she could only express her problems through abstract hobbit film predictions.  Eventually she found a professor of Tolkien who was willing to talk for hours on end with her about these predictions.  This seemed to help and so she decided to try and make up for her mistake by getting more people on the LOTRO Players News podcast.

She went to her best friend, a world famous chicken restaurant owner named Arathaert.  His restaurants were famous for the kid’s meal lunches that came with streamers for kids to run around with.  The meal also came with a plastic horn modeled after an iceberg called the Hornberg.  Arathaert started to notice a weird phenomenon where the kids started to put their chicken into the Hornberg.  Arathaet knew that if he didn’t make a public statement soon, he would have tons of parents angry at him for encouraging their kids to play with their food.  So Arathaert made the statement that nothing went in to anything.  Oddly enough, after he made that statement parents stopped taking their kids to his restaurants.

The trailer owner also asked local parody artists, Karvett and Teriadwyn to join the show.  Since they were finishing up their Frozen Balrog music video, they agreed to do the show until their next project came around.

The next big event for the group was the 100th episode where they all got back together.  Since it was such a momentous occasion, Pineleaf suggested they all do a skirmish.   The group immediately let out a big Ethelros sigh.  Preferring even Elrond over another skirmish, the group made their way to his library, leaving Pineleaf behind.  Elrond decided to let the group sail to the west, far away from Pineleaf, but they would have to provide their own ride. They all thought about their situation but no solution presented itself.  “I have it” the talkative trailer owner cried.  “I’ve been farming allot and have developed some amazing plants”.  She quickly rushed to her garden and imbued her pea plants.  They quickly grew to an epic size, and the group was able to craft a legendary boat out of them.  The group got in the boat of peas and sailed off to the west, never to be seen again.”

Contact Us

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podcast@lotroplayers.com

 

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The Players Alliance @PlayersAlly

LOTRO Players @LOTROPlayers

Andang @PvMP_Andang

Arathaert @Arathaert

Braxwolf @Braxwolf

Karvett @KarvettLP

Lilikate @Lilikatebuggins

Maven @tolkienmaven

Pineleaf @PineleafNeedles

Teriadwyn @Teriadwyn

 

Follow our old hosts!

Cithryth @Cithryth

Ethelros @Ethelros

Draculetta @Draculetta_72

 

Follow our guests!

Branick @bdmarvel

The Tolkien Professor @tolkienprof

Estel Ali @dgenxali

Iogro @Iogromerrybelly

DJ Pimp Daddy @ (Please just laugh hard right here then say “Good luck!”)

Roger @ModeratePeril

Final Thoughts

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Thanks for listening!