A good dwarf, regardless of class, should be focused on one thing: his or her Beard. The Beard is the most vital part of a dwarf. It can be used for many things, and to add; it is quite attractive.
Picking the Appropriate Beard
Whether it be character creation, or at the Barber, a good Beard selection is beneficial to the overall well-being and success of your dwarf.
There are a few different things to consider when selecting your Beard style (that I will go into a bit of detail about later on), but there is one aspect that is most important, and that is the Beard’s innate power.
These innate abilities include, but are not limited to:
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Massive DPS boosts: +10,000 DPS rating to all weapons equipped, plus it does another 10,000 DPS on it’s own.
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Inspiration of fellows: +10,000 morale to all members of your fellowship.
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Self morale restoration: A self morale heal that automatically restores morale equal to the amount of damage taken
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Increased armour value: +10,000 to armour.
Depending on which class you choose, your beard style could make your Dwarf better then any other in the game. For example, if you choose to be a Dwarf Guardian, and you choose a beard that gives +10,000 to armour, you could conceivably be the best Guardian in the game.
Other attributes of beard styles include:
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Bonuses to all stats: +10,000
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Increased knowledge of all things: You are smarter than the supposed “Lore Master” running around like a maniac next to you.
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Increased (and valid I might add) sense of superiority: This goes without saying.
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Amazing style and good looks: Again, this goes without saying.
Some “not-so-desired” (as other races may perceive it!) effects may include arrogance and an overall elitist attitude.
Take my beard for instance, it gives me +100,000 to all stats, has the DPS boost, increased armour and it makes me the best looking character in the game. No one can touch me. Please be aware however that my own beard is unique and can and will not ever be replicated.
Other Utilities
Some beards have extra utility as well. A longer beard can be used to whip around and blind opponents, as well as used as a rope to tie things up. Shorter beards are useful for absorbing ale that did not quite make it into your mouth, and storing it for later consumption.
Aesthetics
Long or short, this is purely up to you. It is a well known fact that there is nothing mightier than a well-kept, long beard, of epic proportions. At the same time however, a shorter beard is a sure way for the Dwarf ladies to attract the Dwarf dude she has eyes for.
Choosing the Right Beard for You…
Honestly, I am not sure why I even bothered to write this guide, the more I think about it, the more I realize – the Beard chooses you. Congratulations on being awesome. Now go show the rest of Middle Earth that they must FEAR THE BEARD!
This article was originally published by me as a humorous game-guide in the LOTRO Lorebook. It has been republished here for preservation.
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To the Beard I can only /Bow.
Agreed! Even if you play a female dwarf … a very long beard is a must!!
One word: Genius…
Speechless. And sadly, beardless.
This is easily fixable. On character select screen, first use the delete option. Then the Create New Character button. Choose Dwarf. Profit. 😀
OMG heehehee.
(I have two very bearded and respectable (cough) Dwarves).
Awesome! I can only imagine the dazzling power a Dwarf Guardian must wield while using Overpower…
Technically, due to the beard, Dwarf Guardians don’t NEED overpower. Using it has actually proven to be detrimental- causing earthquakes, mudslides, stampeding flocks of hobbits and giving womenfolk the vapors.
I think the first paragraph sums up just how awesome this entire article is. Great job!
Now I finally understand why I always had that strange urge to roll a dwarf!
Most awesome guide ever 😀
Thanks!
What are you waiting for? Your glorious beard awaits!
Forget the glorious beer contest during anniversaries, we want the glorious beard contest!!!!
I know a dwarf who is very particular about his beard, because he does not have much on top to groom!
Very nice article!
Hilarious. Good stuff. My hobbits don’t have beards… but they’d probably just get pie in them anyway. 🙂
That is one of the many uses of a beard, to save some pie for later.
Quite frankly, this is arrant nonsense. I have no beard at all, and it is a well-known fact that I am the sexiest living thing in Middle Earth.
Don’t believe me? Check out my legs! You will see.
Aegthil
I sense a challenge. Loser has to shave (your legs, my beard)
In?
Just. LOL.
I am thinking Floradine, Lilikate and Kaleigh the official judges. 1 screen shot each. His chickensticks versus my beard.
I would be delighted to judge your “Hair Off”, Let the battle commence…..
I would just like to say that with a beard or without, I shall never love a dwarf 😀
Have fun
This site needs a dislike button! 😛
I suppose that’s OK. Not everyone can handle it.
Brilliant!
You are the most genius man I have ever heard speaking. If I ever donated to this site it would be because of this insanely interesting thread… Hmm I actually would like to see some sort of beard list though. The world need an expert to write about the different beards and its shapes and uses in combat, at the dinner and everywhere els off course. I truly need to find my own beards true power since I’m young and still haven’t discovered its full potential
I wish I could give you a big true dwarven belly hug, Sig. But your beard would probably net let me close enough. I’m not worthy to sit in front of you perfect dwarven personality
1. If you do decide to donate, please make any and all checks payable to Sigram Stonebeard.
2. You can look forward to more posts about beards.
3. While I appreciate the gesture, any big beardy dwarf belly hugs should be administered to Mysteri. (See Mysteri’s comment above)
Okey, that sounds great masterdwarf. I’m definitely looking forward to that 🙂
Oh I want more posts about Beards! I mean lets have out all the interesting issues: To plait or not to plait? and how often, if at all should a Dwarf comb his beard?
Some of these will be addressed in a post coming soon! (Monday)
Awesome! I like beards. It creates an autmosphere.. Like.. be the man! get yourself a beard and a batlle axe and fight all these hordes shouting like a barbarian =)
Ha, really liked this post!
The idea of a dwarf, trimming his beard 🙂
Would be nice to see a Movember as well for dwarfs 🙂
Other races are just jealous. Get the most badass beard ever and then you will simply be unstoppable. Either because of the sheer power of the beard to repel attacks and encroachments, or because your opponent will be mesmerized by the sheer magnificence of it, and give up before they even start.
do dwarves grow nose hair also?