The Rift Instance Revamp Announced


Please note: The following post was an April Fool’s joke and is not real.

Today Turbine announced that The Rift instance will be revamped into multiple Epic Battles by the end of the year.

“The revamped version of The Rift will be coming later this year.  It will include two solo-duo EBs created for the first two Troll bosses.  After completing the first two, the next couple bosses will be included in a large 6-man EB, followed by a 12-man EB to complete the revamp.” – source

Later in the post, Turbine mentions that the new EBs will come with new jewelry that has essence slots.  The new jewelry and EBs will be available from levels 50-105.

When asked why Turbine is making the revamped version into Epic Battles, Turbine said:

“Players have long said they want the instance to be revamped.  They did not specify that it shouldn’t be an Epic Battle.  Also the instanced version will still be in the game so players can choose between the Epic Battles and the instance.  We have always been about giving players more options here at Turbine, this revamp continues our philosophy.” – source

Turbine was also asked by the Palantír program test players why it needs to be an Epic Battle:

“We had to make room for all the facepalming players who think the new Epic Battles are not fun.  Any player who sends us a picture of themselves facepalming will be added as an NPC to the background of the EBs until they are cured.” – source

Turbine also stated that a percent of the proceeds of the new EBs will go to a new charity that helps cure people who have a rare disorder that causes them to think epic battles are not fun.  The disease is called ‘Epicus Battlus Notfunitis.’  The cure seems to be simply giving players money until they agree to say that Epic Battles are fun.


I obviously think this is a horrible idea but it does provide more options to players who enjoy Epic Battles.

Other LOTRO Players responses to the news:

“I was hoping for at least one skirmish out of this revamp.  I was so angry when I found out it was just another Epic Battle that I started to count down and then, when I reached zero, I broke some of the javelins I store in my desk.” – Pineleaf

“Meh” – Draculetta

“Meh” – Teriadwyn

“This isn’t great but at least they are giving more options to players.  Hopefully this will lead to Turbine providing non-EB options along with instances in the future.” – Arathaert

“At least now Corey might see the end of The Rift.” – Maven

“Finally we can do Beardkissing in The Rift without it being awkward for other players!” – Karvett

“I was so angry after hearing this news that I went to Turbine and picked up a table.” – Braxwood

One comment

  1. You stinkers! :p

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