Lalia’s Market Closes, Town Celebrates

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Please note: The following post was an April Fool’s joke and is not real.

     BREE, Eriador – The folk of Bree woke up Elenya morning to find that Lalia’s Market had closed and gone out of business. The door was barred and windows shuttered, with piles of trash and junked cosmetics strewn about. A search had gone out around town for Lalia, but she could not be found.

Lalia Market_closed

The site of the former Lalia’s Market

Lalia’s Market, a warehouse for a bevy of premium outfitting goods for the upscale customer, always had a mixed review among the people of Bree, and for good reasons. Various travelling adventurers have been witnessed holding their heads in pain at the memory of having to assist Lalia through the hills of the Barrow-downs. Likewise, her meandering business has seen a slump of patrons, primarily due to the upstanding cost of mithril coins in this part of the region.

“I can’t say I have even seen a mithril coin for the better part of 20 years,” long-time resident Barliman Butterbur spoke. “I’ve been watching over the Prancing Pony all these years, and will occasionally see some rare coins pass through. Mithril, on the other hand, is in a world of its own.”

Even Lalia’s father, Bob, was slightly hesitant of her opening shop in Bree. “She sometimes gets so lost in her stories. She was lucky ‘nough to have a stranger get her outta that scrape in the Barrows. After going on about wanting to share her ‘creative spirit’ with the folks in town, I assumed she was just yapping again. That girl of mine should’a gotten bit more hobbit-sense and just returned to the Pony.”

Upon hearing of the market’s closing, rousing cheers erupted from all corners of Bree. Even the ruffians in Beggar’s Alley could be seen joining the crowd in joyous revelry. Various fire pits have sprouted about town, being used as a means to extinguish leftover inventory. Mannequins have seemingly sprouted legs, appearing in all sorts of odd places about town (this reporter saw one sticking out of the auction hall chimney near the south gate).

breecrowd_fire

Townspeople cleansing Bree of Lalia paraphernalia

Questions have arisen as to what will happen with the former market space. Mayor Tenderlarch has placed the lot back up for retail, warning potential proprietor’s from making the same mistakes as the now-departed owner. Some see the location as cursed, and dare not step foot anywhere near the premises.

“The site is now being revered as a Mithril Coin burial ground, driving potential businesses from pursuing new ownership,” Second-Watcher Heathstraw told us. “Some kids go around telling ghost stories about mysterious floating cloaks that can be seen at night.”

We attempted to make contact with Lalia for an interview, but apparently she was last seen randomly wandering around the outskirts of the Old Forest. May the spiders and trees have more mercy on her soul than did the peoples of Bree.

More on this story as it develops.

 

5 comments

  1. Goblinbane /

    According to anonimous source in Bree’s townhall Lalia decided to move her business to other game before closure of Lotro. Source claims that she said “I don’t want to make more mithril coins because they will be deleted together with Bree and the Barrows where I have spend most terrible day of my life”. Unfortunately no one knows where Lalia moved her business but experts are sure that there are many world creators interested with Lalia’s expertise in monetisation of created worlds.

    Let’s hope that Lalia is wrong :).

    • Zyngor /

      I will be quite surprised if she can get through their firewalls without knocking herself out.

  2. timhedden /

    If she’s not around, she must be back in the Barrow Downs. Which reminds me, as slow as she is, I wonder if she’s related to Sara Oakheart :p

    • Zyngor /

      The DNA tests came out inconclusive, unfortunately. The MENSA tests came out as a definite NO.

    • Goblinbane /

      Good point! I think they are part of larger familiy in which are even elfs. I met one in Eregion. He said to hurry up and then he was moving so slowly that I almost felt asleep. Good that there were some halforcs around to wake me up 🙂

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