Khazad Ai-menu!

You know what LOTRO needs? More dwarves. Sure — I get it; it’s [going to be?] the age of man and all that. The race of man is fickle, their existence all too brief, and quite frankly they are almost as stiff necked as the elves. Also, if you have not met him, Aragorn smells of garlic and cabbage. It’s rather off-putting.

Hobbits? Don’t get me started. (Don’t trust anything that can’t grow a beard and/or begs you to deliver pies, and not eat them, to every end of the shire.)

When I started playing LOTRO back in February of 2007, I made the same mistake most of you did. Elves and men and hobbits littered my character selection screen. It wasn’t until sometime shortly after the Evendim release that I had noticed a rare sight: a short, stout fellow with a big bushy beard and dreadlocks. He looked like a pirate with armor and a shield. I had been too busy trying to force Reginald to carry my flag and follow me around to notice Blackbeard hitting tomb robbers in the face with a shield.

At that point I had a choice: I could either keep cursing Reginald’s disobedience or I could grow a beard and hit things in the face with a shield too. I fired Reginald that day, and the next morning something strange happened. I woke up a good two and a half feet shorter, and I had the most epic of beards sprout up on my face.

Fast Forward Six+ Years… 

All dwarves all the time baby! Well… Sort of.

My guardian still exists, is in the high 70s (dang alts!) and still hits things in the face with his shield every now and then. Last summer I brought up a dwarf hunter in anticipation of the Rohan expansion and with the idea that he would be a moors bound beast.  But I find myself in a bind. What this game needs is more dwarves! In my over half a decade of playing LOTRO, I still have no desire to play a minstrel. I don’t really get along with the champion play style (sue me!) and I got my Rune-keeper to 64 and then pretty much lost interest.

That leaves me with men characters to play the classes I want to play. I’ll start one up, get him into the 20s or 30s and then start getting frustrated because I feel like he should be a dwarf. I need dwarf captains, wardens and let’s face it – if a dwarf can blow you up by picking up a magic rock, he could do the same with a big stick and a sword and an eagle friend.

 

Pssssssst. Hey Turbine! Listen here. See these 2000 Turbine points I have? I’ll trade you these for an unlock that allows me to play a dwarf warden. Think about it? Reginald’s making me angry again and watching Seinfeld reruns is starting to sound an appealing alternative. 

3 comments

  1. Andang /

    Great job Sig! I totally agree that we need more dwarves but we might not get it until after we go to Moredwar*

  2. That’s solid, Andang.

    I think it’s funny how we bounce around in our preferences. I’ve only played Dwarves (and Men, when I wanted to do classes that Dwarves couldn’t play) and now I kind of want an Elf. So much so that I started an Elf Guardian, even though my Dwarf Guardian is almost 70.

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